Marque and Reprisal

2006-11-17T18:23:00.000-08:00

July 2006 California Bar Examination

Application Number:	221
File Number:	Joli Rouge
Name:

The name above appears on the pass list for the July 2006 California Bar Examination.

common sense controversy

2006-10-01T10:12:00.000-07:00

I was watching the morning news, where a supposed controversy going on in LA over the "Own it. End it." campaign.

The problem? This campaign stays that AIDS is a gay disease.

Guess what folks, AIDS is a gay disease. A gay male disease. Get over it, accept it and deal with it. Gay men have a substantial likelihood of having AIDS by the time they hit 40.

Does this say something about gay men? Does it mean people should treat them worse? Of course not. The problem is that there is a stigma attatched to pointing to problems in the gay community without being called a homophobe. So if you are straight, don't talk about AIDS, rampant speed problems, the dangers of other stds that are resurgent in the gay community.

Instead, we are treated to the ONE campaign, featuring dozens of celebrities who all insist we are at risk of getting AIDS. That campaign is so stupid it falls just short of parody. Perhaps they didn't want to pay royalties to Trey Parker for this little gem:

Everyone has AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS!
AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS AIDS!
Everyone has AIDS!

And so this is the end of our story
And everyone is dead from AIDS
It took from me my best friend
My only true pal
My only bright star (he died of AIDS)

Well I'm gonna march on Washington
Lead the fight and charge the brigades
There's a hero inside of all of us
I'll make them see everyone has AIDS

Congratulations to the Own It. End It. folks, they get it. Maybe a grown up approach to epidemiology will be more successful than the idiocy that has gone on in fighting AIDS in the US for the past 20+ years.

Oh Al how I missed you.

2006-09-28T23:06:00.000-07:00

Two from the weird one:

oooh just shut up

2006-09-27T01:01:00.000-07:00

Olberman.

Listen, I undertand what you are doing. good for you. you are collecting a paycheck. I recommend you save some of that.

As for the rest of you propping him up to his nearly mediocre ratings... for shame. Have you figured out what you are doing wrong yet?

Stop trying to ape what you think the american right is doing on fox news with your own answer to fox news/Rush (et al). It has become increasingly obvious that you, as a group, are acting off the impression of whatyou think the right is doing rather than what the right is in fact doing.

As much as I despise Bill O'Reilly, just show me the time he called anybody not named cocco a monkey.

The tragedy in this is that if I were a higher traffic blog, people would explain how Olberman showed himself to be a superior man to Wallace by handing Clinton a check during an interview (because he was avoiding the pixilations of a presidential bj) to a man asking a relatively reasonable and fair question that to my knowledge hasn't been discussed in the mainstream.

Olberman.... stick to selling seeds

Bill, meet your better

2006-09-20T23:32:00.000-07:00

Some people went to law school to actually learn about law and stuff. Imagine what happens when they try to deal with asinine law suits by political hacks like the one we have as AG in California.

Well, don't imagine. Check out Fern's post at Alone in Public where she shows that Bill Lockyer doesn't even pass the laugh test, let alone a legal test.

The lawsuit begs two questions. First, if the California government cares so much about pollution, why weren't the California emissions standards low enough to prevent the significant environmental damage Lockyer is claiming has been caused by car emissions? Suing car manufacturers after they met the standards we told them to meet seems ludicrous from a common sense standpoint, even though it's a viable legal argument.

Second, if the California government cares so much about pollution, then why aren't they building extensive mass transit systems in places like Los Angeles and Orange County where there are virtually no useful public transportation systems and millions upon millions of people who have lengthy commutes to work each day. The Los Angeles metropolitan area is almost certainly the largest source of the state's car pollution and yet the state and local governments aren't doing anything to curb the need for cars.

Why is it that these questions can be so clear, but ignored by our state's AG. It is our eternal shame that we let a wanna be go to law school just to get a job he isn't suitable for, when people like Fern could do the AG's job without subjecting the state of California to ridicule in legal communities.

It must be liberal day over at google

2006-09-20T01:35:00.000-07:00

You can tell because the day ends with "y"

So here are my 3 quotes of the day:
I had an epiphany a few years ago where I was out at a celebrity party and it suddenly dawned on me that I had yet to meet a celebrity who is as smart and interesting as any of my friends. - Moby
Acceptance without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western religion, rejection without proof is the fundamental characteristic of Western science. - Gary Zukav
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin

Quote 1: Moby, everything is more interesting than you. I don't know how you became a celebrity, but you are not interesting enough to merit being a quotable person.

Quote 2: As stated by a person who knows nothing of Western Theology or Western Sceince. Because both statements are fundamentally false. Western theology has become increasingly complex, and western science has become increasingly linked to politics. Oh, and Fatwa! you have defamed Jesus! I am totally calling you out. Bike racks, after school.

Quote 3: Yeah yeah yeah, it's Ben's most famous quote after, "why does it burn when I pee?"

Nothing wrong with this quote, except for the fact that people who quote him tend to forget every other principle from the founding, but remember this and the Danbury letters as proof positive that a) gwb is dumb and b) being a liberal is good.

Essential liberty is a concept that is complex and worthy of deeper discussion, too bad it's always thrown out as a one off for people being against even basic security measures by this administration.

As a basis of comparison, consider the following, the government can force you to keep and quarter troops in times of war against your consent. In times of peace, you must either consent or they cannot stay. THAT is essential liberty, and even then, the founders were aware of times where essential liberty must give way. Why? because as essential as it is as a liberty interest, it is secondary to the "existence" interest.

But using the founding fathers to attack the US government is easy, because most people dont' spend any time with it, and people don't want to attack the founders. Then again, people are more than happy to accept every other historical transgression against the founders... Wickard v Fillburn etc.

Google, I love your search engine, your email service, and the easy way your image service helps me find porn, but this is just a bad day for you and quotes.

Especially since when it comes to protecting "essential liberty" you are tough with the US government, but roll over for the Chinese all day long.

Talk is cheap, especially other people's talk.

Google. You can SUCK IT.

the cost of terrorism prevention

2006-09-20T00:58:00.000-07:00

Glenn at Agoraphilia has some thoughts about the risks of terrorism related deaths compared to other causes of death... like bee stings or seeing Bea Arthur naked.

Well, as a matter of comparison. When it comes to bee stings, we have an office in every (appropriate) county in America to cover pest control. We have cops everywhere, obstensibly to prevent crimes, even crimes that don't mean death.

We don't spend a lot on preventing terrorism now. Before then, we spent a negligible sum. Our police practices for other things allowed terrorism prevention by free riding (see Neumaniam Bomb Plot)

Terrorists have spent very little before the "war on terror"because the risk was minor compared to the value of success. Even now, the risk vs reward factor favors acting out against the US. The only question is whether the US has truly counterbalanced it's level of effort against the level of risk, or at a minimum, has the appearance of such a counter balance occurred.

The problem is, practically speaking, it's really hard to calculate the costs we actually incur on those other popular causes of death. We are even harder up trying to calculate the marginal gains additional spending would produce.

But the Big 12 is a conference of peace!

2006-09-20T00:23:00.000-07:00

In the wake of the Oregon victory by way of blown instant replay:

The Pac-10 replay official, Gordon Riese, has received death threats to him and his family. Let’s don’t go into how sick that is, only to say that if the feds can trace the call, that person should do some serious jail time.

Maybe Oklahoma fans should take a hint from pundit Hugh Hewitt.

If It's Not Close They Can't Cheat.

Sports and politics are inherently related. I believe Plato discussed how sports are part of being a proper citizen (but it's been a while.) One of the most important things that kids learn in sports is Don't be a whiner. Sure you can lose. You can lose because of blown calls. You can lose because of cheating. You can lose because the wind conditions blow a homerun ball back to warning track distance.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Losing happens, and your job isn't just to win, but to be far enough ahead of the other side that the externals don't cost you a win. If you lose, it is always your fault.

In sports, and in politics, the buck always stops here. Anything less is just poor sportsmanship.

2006-09-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

I see Robin Williams is still out for that best actor Oscar, trying to prove he is a real actor by trying to mimic a comedian in Man of the Year.

With clever and timely lines like "I did not have sex with that woman... I wanted too." how can you fail? Pure genius. While you are at it, why don't you dust off the rainbow suspenders.

Pure. Comedy. Gold.

If the message is don't upset the snake, I want to be a snake too

2006-09-18T23:02:00.000-07:00

Ghost Blog chimes in about the Pope having the gaul to actually discuss issues of theology:

I'm angry because his excellency (excellent at what? speechmaking? lol.) wasn't bright enough to see that his remarks are very easily manipulated into memetic weapons by the hardliner imams and shayks and local tyrants intent on deflecting criticism of their own regimes who are the real adversary.
We have a very profound saying out here in the West.
Don't poke the snake.
You see, the paramedics at our local fire department here on the front range of the rocky mountains treat a number of snake bite cases every summer. The story fronted by the cyclist/jogger is always that they were peaceably cycling/running past and said snake just jumped out and bit them.

So. Let me tell you about snakes.

First of all. If you anger a snake, it forgets quickly. Out in the San Bernardino county hills, I've met plenty of rattlesnakes. I've upset more than my fair share while hiking, or biking, or while trying to find other snakes. If you piss one of, he forgets.

Unlike these figurative snakes which are still mad about everything that has ever happened to them. The Crusades? Still mad. The loss of the portions of Europe they took by war? Still mad. The existence of Israel? Still mad. There are actual Kuwaitiis who are still mad at the US for Gulf War one.

If you name a transgression, real or imagined they are still pissed. There is a saying I heard from a middle easterner that seems to fit. "If you grab a persian by the arm, he'll never let go."

Second. If snakes are what others fear and placate, then other animals will act like snakes too. I'm sure my Rocky Mountain friend is familiar with all the species who copy dangerous snakes so they get the benefit. The King Snake has the coloration of the coral snake (red and black, friend of Jack...) some snakes thrash their tails in a manner to mimic the sounds of a rattlesnake etc.

By teaching the world that we should do whatever it takes to not stir up the snakes. We guarantee the world more snakes. Because the environment has become better suited for them.
Third, read the speech. Go on, read the whole relevant section and tell me what he said that is actually controversial. The problem isn't the fact that he said something controversial, it is that everything pisses somebody off. But apparently there is a species of snake that can get angered by everything, pick the locks on your door at your home at night, and kill you just because you are aware of it's existance and mentioned it to others. Be sure not to piss of that species of snake. But I must warn you, it's tricky, because you probably have angered it just by reading the Benedict speech without issuing your own fatwa.

Fourth, people who say "lol" as part of a substantive attack on the speechwriting of others should be taken out to a field and beaten with bats. If this ghostie has a question as to why the beating is going on, just tell them that they created and subsequently angered a snake.

it's that time

2006-09-18T22:31:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Talk Like a Pirate day.

To get you warmed up. Enjoy these intellectual pirate jokes from McSweeney's

Q: What's a pirate's favorite aspect of computational linguistics?
A: PARRRsing sentences.
Q: Of which concept shared by Jungian psychology and Northrop Frye's literary theory are pirates especially fond?
A: ARRRchetype.
Q: Who's a pirate's favorite member of the creative team behind "32 Short Films About Glenn Gould"?
A: Don McKellARRR.
Q: What's a pirate's favorite alliance-creating diplomatic agreement from the Second World War?
A: The TripARRRtite Pact.
Q: Which ancient Greek lyric poet do pirates like the best?
A: PindARRR.
Q: If a pirate were to recite one of the Olympian odes by the aforementioned poet, which one would it be?
A: The XIth Nemean Ode, "To ARRRistagoras, the Prytanis of Tenedos, son of ARRRchesilaus."
Q: If that same pirate were then to recite a 20th-century poem about the nature of poetry, what would it be?
A: "ARRRs Poetica" by ARRRchibald MacLeish.
Q: What if he went on to recite a poem by Sir Walter Scott?
A: "LochinvARRR."
Q: Why does that pirate keep reciting poetry, anyway? Is he some sort of Nancy-boy?
A: Aye, 'tis a Nancy-boy he be. Arrr.
Q: Of the ghosts that appear to Ebenezer Scrooge in "A Christmas Carol," which do pirates prefer?
A: Jacob MARRRley.
Q: Can we replace that last one with something about Bob Marley, so we can have an additional gag about RastafARRRianism?
A: No.
Q: Whom did the pirate vote for in the Haitian election?
A: ARRRistide.
Q: Wait. Why did they let a pirate vote in the Haitian election?
A: Remember, the nation was taking its first halting steps toward democracy, and balloting procedures were rather chaotic. The pirate just slipped in somehow. Arrr.

Only Revolutions

2006-09-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

I went up to LA last night. Got rear ended on the five -- Caught Mark Z Daneilkowski doing a reading from his new book "Only Revolutions"

I haven't had a chance to read it yet -- just a short skim.

As usual his verse sounded interesting. Even the parts he read that weren't poetry sounded like it. It's just a shame that sometimes it's wrapped in really dense text and story structure that makes his works sometimes feel like actual work (see: "House of Leaves"). His writing however is really really fun at times, and makes up for the slog. As for the story itself, strange and ambitious.

But that appears to be a family trait.

Mark's sister Poe was in attendance. Someday soon she will be free of her horrible Atlantic contract and out to make a follow up to her brilliant album Haunted (which is one of the best albums of that year (2001), I demand you pick it up now.) She was charming as always, a true lady. Probably one of the few people I've met in LA who has natural star quality that doesn't act like a primadonna. She talks to just about anybody, and is about as sweet as one can be in the process. I can't wait to see her out on her own again.

I also saw one of my true musical heroes, Danny Elfman. Fortunately for him, he was well out of screaming fan range by the time I spotted him at the door. I'm sure other Boingo fans would understand.

hearsay and what it means in the war on terror vs the media

2006-09-11T23:38:00.000-07:00

So does anybody actually believe that the President told Bill Keller he'd have "blood on his hands"? Of course not.

But that's what Bill Keller got from it.

He Knew

Of course Billie Boy was under the impression at the time that the Bush administration was damaged in it's credibility because of the Plame affair (you know, the one where they in fact turned out to not have done anything wrong), that their concerns over the deaths of US citizens must have been ill founded.

Did the White House call anybody a traitor?

Of Course not.

But that's what the New York Magazine got from it.

But that's what the lead in line says the White House thinks of Bill Keller.

I went to law school (bar results pending), and I actually did OK in evidence. So, let's talk about hearsay. Hearsay is a rule that keeps statements out by third parties because they lack reliability. But statements can come in for other reasons.

For instance, the effect on the listener.

In other words, even if Bill Keller was not told that he would have blood on his hands (he didn't), HE KNEW HIS REPORTING OF THE WIRE TAPPING STORY WOULD RESULT IN BLOOD ON HIS HANDS.

I'm sure all kinds of clever men will come up with clever reasons why this article should not have been published but the basic fact remains, Bill Keller published this article under the believe that the President of the United States arued that reporting the story would result in dead Americans. He opted to sell newpapers instead.

If you ever opt to by a New York Times, remember this, they'd rather sell you a paper than protect your life.

it always turns to porn

2006-09-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

If I knew then what I know now about the patent office, I'd have reconsidered my academic path.
In the meantime, check out this rejected patent application that includes hardcore porn pics.

College football is back!

2006-09-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

I am so glad college football is back. Now that the odds of my beloved Anaheim Angels advancing to the playoffs are slim, it's good to have my other sports fix up and running.

UCLA looked damn good on Saturday. Olsen opened with 7 passes to 7 different receivers. He was efficient in his passing. Even better, the UCLA defense was not embarrasing. UCLA still has the potential to be a strong PAC-10 team this year, maybe ranking as high as 3rd.

Right now, I'm watching Miami play Floriday State. Number 11 v number 12. So far a great rivalry matchup, but I have to say College Football should not be played on a Monday Night. It just doesn't seem right.

2006-09-04T02:01:00.000-07:00

Ok, if I have one pet peeve in this world it is people who use the word "ironic" to describe anything and everything.

Shortly after Stever Irwins death, I heard at least 6 different Ironic comments from folks I know.

THIS IS NOT IRONY

This was expected. A wild animal handler dying at the hands of a wild animal is not ironic, it's the logical conclusion to a darwin awards inspired life. Irony would be this man getting killed by a safe domesticated animal, like a hamster.

Getting killed by a sea ray is not Ironic.

Just funny. Really really funny. In a tragic way. Pure traumedy

Expect some feedback

2006-09-01T02:08:00.000-07:00

You know what I love about reality tv?

Having friends and pals get a shot at doing something cool. As hokey as it was, I was totally stoked to see feedback win on Who Wants to Be a Superhero?

Great stuff. Way to go Matt.

Maybe global warming isn't all bad

2006-08-21T14:36:00.000-07:00

via Annie's blog

more border insanity

2006-08-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

Why should we enforce the borders? The old saw about people comming across to do work ordinary americans won't do doesn't cut it.

Especially when the job americans won't do is mass murder.

The chief law enforcement officers of several Texas counties along the southern U.S. border warn that Arabic-speaking individuals are learning Spanish and integrating into Mexican culture before paying smugglers to sneak them into the United States. The Texas Sheriffs' Border Coalition believes those individuals are likely terrorists and that drug cartels and some members of the Mexican military are helping them get across the border.

2006-08-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Well this is interesting.

IT'S not exactly Bob Hope on a USO tour, but gay porn star Michael Lucas says he's going to Israel with other male performers to entertain gay soldiers at a Tel Aviv club with live sex shows. "During times of war, outlets for sexual energy and expression are bleak," said Lucas, whose hard-core hits include "Fire Island Cruising" and "Hunt & Plunge." "I look forward to bringing gay men together, and I will work hard to put on the greatest show for them."

Such is the power of the Israeli lobby, that it can command the porn industry of America to support their troops. The gay ones at least.

Back

2006-08-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

I've been gone for a few days. Let me get you up to speed

1. I just spent 5 days in a hospital with my brother. He is in a medically induced coma after a bad motorcycle accident. I don't know if or when he's waking up, really.

He and I are alike in alot of things, and mainly the part about not liking being told what to do. But there is a slight difference. I think rules are silly because they are just matter of doing what one should anyways. He was in Iowa, which has no helmet law. He made a bad decision and decided to skip the helmet. It's tragic. It's hard to watch. He's where he is in large part because of this.

So far, he has broken ribs, a hemothorax, fractured skull and clavicle. He has moderate damge to his right frontal lobe, but I lack the precice details on all of that. The result of the brain damage is that his left side is paralized, and he has a healthy amount of road rash. Through all this though, he has had incredible care. The hospital where he stays has taken him out of immediate danger, and his greatest threats are infection, and pneumonia.

My brother is only 34 years old, and I just don't know what lays before him, or the rest of the family. I'm not scared of much and this terrifies me.

He's a tough guy. He can handle a lot. I know this, I remember when we used to fight, it's something brothers do, he never really fought back. He had six years on me, and when I was going nuts, he probably could have shut me down no problem. He never did. Maybe its an odd way of protecting a brother, I don't know. I just know that even when things were hard, he looked after me in his own way.

2. Thank God for the people and state of Iowa. I've never met a kinder lot of people. In 1 week, more people have volunteered their kindness to a stranger than I could have ever imagined. I love where I live. I love the lifestyle and the vibrance, but they could never even come close to competing with the people in Iowa on the human aspect. I won't be able to go back to Iowa before my brother is out of the hospital, and I am not likely to return, but I will be eternally greatful.

If it weren't for them I would be eulogizing my brother.

I will never forget their help. I will never forget the people I've met along the way.

Lanny Davis needs another visit from the clue bat

2006-08-09T00:42:00.000-07:00

The cliff notes version of an article by Lanny Davis:

I was raised to believe that the evil republicans are the only ones who hate and that is why growing up I hated them. But now I am surprised to discover that Democrats are capable of hate as well. Of course, this only applies to the Democrats who disagree with me, who I also hate. But, my part of the Democratic party is nothing but love and sweetness.

The cognitive dissonance required for this article is amazing.

Wield the awesome power of 8 hits a day in your campaign

2006-08-09T00:06:00.000-07:00

I'm totally jumping on this bandwagon: Led by Uncle and XRLQ

Any organization* that wants to run a political ad criticizing any politician in that window can do so here. Not only will I run the ad free, I’ll do a post on the ad on the front page.

* The organization must pass the Rouge Sanity Test, i.e., no NAMBLA, Peta, or other weirdo extremists.

** It goes up as a single post, and stays up as a post. This is not a sidebar ad

*** this is not an endorsement of anybody or anything. If I get every libertarian who is running unopposed for the local dog catcher, that doesn't mean I'm for it. The ad will still go up just the same. BTW Libertarians, that bit is getting old.

**** This is a limited time offer, that may be retracted or altered at any time, at my sole discretion.

2006-08-08T23:31:00.000-07:00

It's one thing after another. First the bar, now an emergency of a family nature. More posts when I get back I swear.

In the meantime, check out this collection of cats that look like Hitler.

(nb, this is a joke site, but there are assclowns in the comment section, not for the easily offended)

sci fi is better in 24 hour cycles

2006-08-08T02:00:00.000-07:00

Daily kos says it all:

To me, it's insulting and rude to the real heroes of the Lamont effort -- win or lose -- who have done ALL the work. I didn't make a single phone call, I didn't walk a single precinct, I didn't lick any envelopes, or staffed an information booth at the local farmer's market.
I wrote about the race and suddenly people want to give this blog (and me) all sorts of credit/blame. Only the laziest of lazy reporters and pundits can lay this at the feet of me or any other blogger.

In other words, we expet to lose, or barely win. The future looks better tomorrow, only when you you don't know what tomorrow looks like, and just like Dean, Kos has put lipstick on another pig. Don't blame me for another loss, but I'll take a moderate share of the credit.

kos, you are a checkers man in a chess world. good luck to you with that.

More of that nuance I keep hearing about

2006-08-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

Once again, let's see how much media exposure this story gets. Just like the Lieberman blackface, I see a free pass in somebody's future.

Senate President Pro Tem Don Perata Thursday discussed the difficult political climate surrounding illegal immigration and as an example said “You've got all these crackers ... down in San Diego.”
At a briefing with reporters, the Oakland Democrat was asked about the prospects of pending legislation to grant driver's licenses to illegal immigrants. Though a similar bill has passed the Legislature before – only to be vetoed – Perata said he was cautious about moving the current bill to the governor's desk in an election year.
“Immigration is a red meat issue,” he said. “You've got all these crackers down in Southern Cal – ah, where is it, San Diego, taking on the governor. Even the governor was shocked.”

Oh, and I'm well aware that within this blog, I have refferred to myself as a cracker. The distinction is simple, I'm not a politician shaping government policy dismissing an entire race of people's opinions. This guy has power to do more than expound upon a viewpoint, or make a movie, like the moron at the Huffpo who did a blackface image, or Gibson, and his burdens are greater. This guy should be losing his job.

Given the power of the California Dems, I find it unlikely.

Perspective

2006-08-02T03:03:00.000-07:00

A man walks into a Jewish center

He announces he's pissed at Israel, that he is Muslim. Then he fires indescriminately into the crowd of people. 4 die.

It's hardly able to survive the news cycle, and he is simply treated as a mentally ill person.

Story two:

A man gets pulled over for drunk driving.

He says some really stupid anti semetic stuff. Nobody dies, nobody is even injured.

The MSM can't get enough of it, headshots, apologies, and varying degrees of rejection/acceptance of appologies gets bandied about by various jewish groups.

This is retarded. Mel Gibson did something that makes him a jerk, or maybe an asshole, I'm not gonna parse words on that one. But everybody is going after the low hanging fruit. We have citizens in this country willing to kill other citizens because they are Jewish, and everybody is giving them a pass.

Until the Wiesenthal center, Drudge and whoever else can start to muster a bit of interest in real issues, they can kiss my left nut. Stuff like this is an embarrasment to everybody, but at least Mel had an excuse, he was drunk.

Tomorrow, he'll be sober, and the folks complaining will still be assholes.

Billy's Baloon

2006-08-01T13:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I saw this and thought I'd share the love.

All work and no play..

2006-07-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

a meme stolent from Cal Tech Girl. Oh, and the Bar Exam? I decided to the entire thing in the style of Mark Twain. So far so good. I hope those foks enjoy stylization and folksy wisdom.

What curse word do you use the most?

Fuck, Fucker

Do you own an iPod?

30 video, ask me how you can get one free of the internet too (step one, steal a wallet)

Who on your MySpace "Top 8" do you talk to the most?

Not talking to them. Tom can kiss my bloody boot.

What time is your alarm clock set for?

Oh fuck you.

What color is your room?

A shade of white I call crackertastic.

Flip flops or sneakers?

Boots.

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?

Scrimshaw.

What was the last movie you watched?

Clerks II

Do any of your friends have children?

Yes

Has anyone ever called you lazy?

That's a stupid question. I am lazy.

Do you ever take medication to help you fall asleep faster?

Whiskey counts as a medication right

What CD is currently in your CD player?

Franz Ferdinand. You could have been so much better.

Do you prefer regular or chocolate milk?

Find me the right chocolate chick and we can talk.

Has anyone told you a secret this week?

Yes.

Have you ever given someone a hickey?

Yes.

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?

Constantly

Did you watch cartoons as a child?

what kind of stupid fucking question is that? Yes.

How many siblings do you have?

Are you shy around the opposite sex?

Like, do I whip out my junk in front of strange women? Nope.

What movie do you know every line to?

Deep throat, not counting the soundtrack.

Bubbles!
Otherwise, I can make a fair run at The Princess Bride and Grosse Pointe Blank

Do you own any band t-shirts?

More than I should.

What is your favorite salad dressing?

none

Do you read for fun?

Yup

Do you cry a lot?

Only during sex

Who was the last person to text message you?

It would be hard to be anon if I tell you that type of stuff, now wouldn't it?

Do you have a desktop computer or a laptop?

2 and 1

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?

Maybe another piercing, I miss the old ones.

Definitely two more tatoos. back, legs. Nothing that will showup on security cameras.

What is the weather like?

In Ontario? Too damn hot for a place this ugly.

Would you ever date someone covered in tattoos?

Not anymore.

Is sex before marriage wrong?

No. Unless you are talking about the day of the wedding. That's bad juju.

When was the last time you slept on the floor?

Two weeks ago.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?

I'm most functional after 6. Prefer 8. Usually I hit 9

Are you in love or lust?

Both. Every damn day.

Are your days full and fast-paced?

Most.

Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages?

They won't put the important details on beer, or whiskey.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?

Loose lips sink ships.

Are you picky about spelling and grammar?

No. People need to relax about that.

Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Yes.

Do you get along better with the same or opposite sex?

Same.

Do you like cottage cheese?

Sure

Do you sleep on your side, tummy, or back?

My stomache (not tummy, Tummy is a fucking Gummy Bear, not a body part). Ever since I was thirteen. Now, not so much for the same reason.

Have you ever bid for something on eBay?

Sure.

Do you enjoy giving hugs?

Oh yeah.

What song did you last sing out loud?

Heathen and Evil. Franz Ferdinand.

What is your favorite TV show?

Tough call. 24

Which celebrity, dead or alive, would you want to have lunch with?

I would love to have lunch with the either corpse of Jimmy Carter or Castro. I'm not a picky man.

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?

8:00 bar exam begins

What one thing do you wish you had?

The true name of Brad Pitt, so I can steal his power.

Favorite lyrics?

A thousand lips

A thousand toungues

A thousand throats

A thousand lungs

A million ways to make it true

I want to do terrible things to you.

The Internet is for Porn

2006-07-23T21:00:00.000-07:00


I miss WoW. The real world got in the way of my fun. But, I thought I'd share an old favorite.

oooh, Cagey ... KG. I get it now

2006-07-22T01:52:00.000-07:00

ever have something so obvious pass you by for a long time? Well, thanks to Cagey Mind for the blog roll link.

As for the "Secret" identity thing. Guess it's just my polite way of saying I want to be able to say "shit" and "douche" and "Glen Greenwald" without potential employers finding out. Especially considering my field, where people may not normally assemble the words "shit" "douche" and "Glenn Greenwald" in the same order that I do. I also want to be able to openly hope that Nancy Grace would die in a fire- oh wait, any potential employer who doesn't want to see her die in a fire -- nobody I'd want to work for.

Like I said, before, I'm not hard to figure out, but no direct name link for now.

Thanks for the link KG. Maybe we can lead as two kings.

Nancy Grace DiaF

2006-07-21T00:31:00.000-07:00

Nancy Grace (a misnomer if ever there was one) interviews Elizabeth Smar t and proves you don't have to be a crazy religious zealot to rape an innocent girl, but it helps.

Seriously, tragedy pimps like her need to be off tv. She is an ugly human being in every sense of the word.

The newest religion sweeping Iraq: Americantology

2006-07-20T22:12:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how to take this, but I can't wait to see the reaction when this story spreads. Still this makes more sense than Scientology.

“Americantology? It’s awesome,” said Lance Cpl. Brian Giessler as he and his 1st Platoon buddies took cover from sniper fire a kilometer east of the notorious Blackwater Bridge on Wednesday. “Everybody loves it.”

The reserve infantry unit, which is based in Plainville, Conn., falls under the command of Regimental Combat Team 5 and is responsible for keeping the peace in some of the worst neighborhoods this city has to offer. Marines here have fallen under attack from snipers, roadside bombs, rocket-propelled grenades and mortars.

“We’ve seen it all,” said Cpl. Jordan Pierson, 21, of Milford, Conn. Pierson himself earned a Purple Heart last month when an insurgent grenade exploded 10 feet away and sprayed him with shrapnel.

Americantology actually began as a spat between Grainger and higher-ups over whether or not the company could fly an American flag outside its base — a battered former government building dubbed “The Holiday Inn Express.”

See Momma Sheehan? This is how you get it done.

2006-07-20T15:18:00.000-07:00

Remember when Cindy Sheehan said she offered to run her son over so he could avoid serving? Well, it looks like somebody actually went all the way.

"Short clip of myself, Jon Atkins, trying to break a marine buddy of mine, Nate Lopez's leg. He didn't want to go to Afghanistan and naturally this was his best idea to find a way out." HT Boing Boing

I hope it hurt like hell. I also hope that he faces court martial.

a correction for our readers

2006-07-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

Apparently some people have trouble grasping the concept of fiction:
HT Stop the ACLU

7DAYS would like to point out that the four-page ‘Daily Planet’ supplement carried in yesterday’s paper was an advert for the release of the new movie ‘Superman Returns’. Superman has not really been spotted flying down Sheikh Zayed Road nor has he been seen swooping over Luxor in Egypt 7DAYS would like to thank those readers who thought otherwise for their concerned telephone calls.

Kiwi cop is a part time prostitute

2006-07-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

A New Zealand police officer was cleared to moonlight on her job and work part time as a whore. NZ legalized prostitution a few years back, and apparently everybody wants in on the action... except for me. I saw some of their women of the night, I don't think I could ever be drunk enough to even shake hands with one of them.

Sorry, wrong address

2006-07-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

Cato has an interactive map of botched drug raids. Kinda scary to see how many deaths and injuries came out of that list. HT Objective Justice

On the subject of getting owned

2006-07-20T02:34:00.000-07:00

Glenn Greenwald claims to be a Con-law expert.

So maybe he should brush up on the 13th amendment after getting his ass owned by Ace, Pat and co. It appears Glen got caught posting comments on other blogs about how fan-fucking-tastic he is. Under false names, because that's what real con law experts do, want a sample? Here comes the science...

Lets see, a New York Times bestselling book on executive authority. Breaks a story on his blog about wiretapping that leads to front-page stories on most major newspapers in the country. Russ Feingold reads from his blog during the Censure hearings.

Maybe that has something to do with why. Any conservative bloggers with credentials like that? All compiled in 9 months or however long its been since he started blogging?

Jeffy’s funny poems are great and everything, and im sure your anonymous lawyer friends are really smart and all, but hard to say they compare to those things.

Next time you try to suck your own dick Glenn, try not to reach so far. You might throw something out.

If I only had some health care and some tits ...

2006-07-19T20:51:00.000-07:00

I could join the most kick ass roller derby team in the OC, the Demolition Divas. Oh well, I gotta mention that they are recruiting, so if any of you bad girlies interested, check them out.

Lou Dobbs > everybody else

2006-07-19T14:34:00.000-07:00

Just kidding. This windbag is just another paternalistic know-it-all like O'Reilly. Nothing says "I'm a giant douchebag in love with the smell of my own farts" better than opening a column with a line like this...

We Americans like to think we're a pretty smart people, even when evidence to the contrary is overwhelming. And nowhere is that evidence more overwhelming than in the Middle East. History in the Middle East is everything, and we Americans seem to learn nothing from it.

Gee, why don't you tell us all about how you know so much more than all of America Lou? From Truman on down, apparently we bow down to his giant intellect. Which is really just his way of saying, we should fuck Israel over and move the story back to Iraq. After all, all the smart people know that if it weren't for Israel, and America's actions in Iraq, the Middle East would be a garden of earthly delights.

I would expect Lou to know that people can hold more than one issue in mind at a time. After all, he is able to still keep up with his isolationist/protectionist porn while lecturing us ad nasuem about the middle east and whatever else he can claim superiority about.

I love Japan

2006-07-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

France v Israel ummm ok

2006-07-18T18:56:00.000-07:00

This is a scary thought, a French MP is calling for war between France and Israel. And Bush is being hawkish for just not interfering fast enough?

I too lead a life of danger...

2006-07-18T16:50:00.000-07:00

...But nothing like the Hoff

Finally a congress displays some good sense on gay marraige

2006-07-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

I'd love to say it's over, but this is only over for now.

I'm all for gay marraige. And I'm sick of hearing about the issue from conservatives and natural law followers. If you don't like gay marraige, fine by me. Don't marry a member of the same sex.

If it's a crime against god, or nature, let them deal out their own punishment. A friend of mine has suggested this point, and it probably is the most common sense reaction I've heard to the natural law argument. After all, it does no good to actually try to argue with the logic within natural law, it's an endless loop.

So it looks like we get another 6 month reprieve on the issue, until after elections. The only question is whether Republicans will be back to bring this up one more time. Ah, who am I kidding, they'll bring it up even if they were the minority party. They know that they have the public on their side, and they have history. Whether the law makes good sense or not is immaterial.

But who will protect our llamas?

2006-07-18T15:09:00.000-07:00

KG at Cagey Mind is upset because of a little bit of odd spending on homeland security, but really isn't protecting our nation's military resource of petting zoo's just good sense?

A list from the Homeland Security Department that determines hundreds of millions of dollars in anti-terrorism grants showed that Indiana and Wisconsin each have more than twice as many terror targets as California — and that one target is a petting zoo in Alabama.

Armada about to unleash their rusty cannon:

2006-07-18T14:08:00.000-07:00

Well, on the big list of things that sound great in theory, bringing in former A's slugger Jose Canseco to pitch a minor league game is somewhere between greenlighting Ishtar and Chili Pepper Suppositories.

But just the same, somebody is stupid enough to try it;

Because Jose Canseco is a man who wants to be taken seriously ... because he is a man with pride ... because he once strode with the giants of major league baseball ... he will now take the next logical step in the twilight of his once-great career. He will pitch in the Golden Baseball League All-Star Game. "Canseco will pitch at least one inning in the game at Chico's Nettleton Stadium and also will participate in the pregame home run derby," said his new team, the Long Beach Armada. The game is today. Baseball's premiere steroid narc has also said that he will unveil his knuckleball. We are relieved, as at first we thought this whole thing was going to be a farce.

This seems about right

2006-07-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Fake Blogs and viral marketing

2006-07-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

That Girl Emily claims to be on a 14 day revenge streak against her cheating husband. Day one, put up this billboard near her work (in NY) which oddly enough looks like a pretty cheap job. Then, you discover she want revenge so bad, BoiFromTroy has found that same billboard in LA.

Almost immediately after getting linked to on fark, cries of fake were being raised.

While viral marketing can be fun, it only works if you aren't treated like a moron in the process. Businesses who try to put one over on bloggers tend to fail, too many people, too much collective cynicism. For good examples of viral marketing, see I love bees, or Subservient Chicken.

The curious life of bloggers

2006-07-17T20:58:00.000-07:00

By now, Frisch is a verb. Protein Wisdom and South(west) Paw have been in a verbal war for about two weeks now.

Well, in reality, PW has just been targeted despite showing a willingness to ignore things and move on. But what gets me is the oddity of the fact that Right/Left Blogs don't link to each other; unless they have done something crazy that they want to point out and ridicule.

Even now, there isn't a good link to the respective sites. As if that defeats their existence or delegitimizes them.

It's just plain stupid and childish. Linkage doesn't mean Friendship or endorsement, it simply means easy information dissemination...

Of course, at least one of these parties is childish so I would expect as much.

Rolling Stones + Breakfast

2006-07-17T18:14:00.000-07:00

Isn't it sad that they had commercials that rocked more than legitimate songs they do now?

Calm in the storm

2006-07-17T01:56:00.000-07:00

In my time before the mast I have learned to appreciate the storms that confront us. As captain of this ship, I'm particularly enjoying the lightning storm in this beautiful bay. I know that the bar exam may be scary and that only a week separates me from fate, but it's nice to be reminded how big, and scary things are outside my bubble.

And everyday, I thank God that I'm not on a plane, full of snakes.

Clerks + Peanuts = 36

2006-07-17T01:45:00.000-07:00

Wait? What do you mean 37?

I wanted to be student council president too... damn union voting machine

2006-07-17T01:39:00.000-07:00

Tony Snow has high praise for President Clinton:

On former President Bill Clinton: "Bill Clinton settled for being popular. In that sense he was more student council president than American president and it's a real shame. What a waste of talent."

Well, popular is key isn't it? It worked for Kennedy, he got the hot chicks. And Clinton, well...

... He made up for it in quantity.

Snakes on a Plane: reviewed

2006-07-17T01:22:00.000-07:00

It's an internet phenom, so naturally anybody cool on the internet hates it. After all, everybody knows that anything worth being popular must suck once it catches wind in the general public.

Unless you are the first, bona fide reviewer of the film, at Ain't it cool news.

So suck on that haters. There are snakes on that mother fucking plane, what are you going to do about it?

Feminists rejoice, you are killing women, the system still works

2006-07-17T01:05:00.000-07:00

I love the feminist movement, it really was something, until it was successful.

The great crime in politics is that nobody ever goes away. And even wars that have been fought and won are constantly being refought by the victors. Tilting at windmills. They fear any step away from the status quo will result in the end of all things.

And so, while in America we fear the harmful anti-woman effects of abortion bans, we produce an effect of gender selecting abortions. We give no quarter, and in turn, we pay a far greater price.

If there has ever been a more poorly understood concept in American law than abortion rights, I'd like to know about it. But for now, I'm just secure in the fact that we have people running the show willing to sacrifice women on the alter of women's rights.

Marsha Bishon, 15:01

2006-07-17T00:57:00.000-07:00

As a fan of nipples, I must say this is dissapointing
(and as a fan of common sense, I won't tell you not to click that link from your work)

Cuba's opinion about the middle east events

2006-07-17T00:39:00.000-07:00

Listen. Castro. Die. We don't care what you think about the middle east.
You, and your scragly hobo beard need to go away.

Your chance to be a t-shirt Icon is long since passed, and your bud in venezuela is now the head lunatic for Latin Socialism. Just die so I can get good cigars and another source of rum.

And leave Israel out of it

Cuba on Sunday strongly condemned the Israeli aggressions on Lebanon which led to the killing of innocent civilians and destruction of the country's infrastructure.
"Cuba condemns Israeli violations of the international laws and norms through its military offensive on a sovereign country under different pretexts to protect its security by the military and financial support of the US Administration," a statement by the Cuban Foreign Ministry said.

Of course considering that the State Department is planning your demise, and Cuba is discussing your great health, I may have spoken too late. Here's hoping.

Clearly not a man of the sea

2006-07-16T15:12:00.000-07:00

Michael Douglas thinks piss is a home remedy, for jellyfish stings. And this man got one of the world's hottest women how?

The actor was vacationing with his family at their summer home when he suffered a nasty sting and pleaded with five-year-old son DYLAN to alleviate the pain.

(snip)
"So I asked my five-year-old son if he would pee-pee on my back. He looked at me like he'd gone to heaven.
"He was like 'This is what I call a good summer holiday! Pee-pee on daddy's back!' "I don't know if it helped at all, but my son was happy. We'll work it out in 20 years (when he's in therapy)!"

Give me another word for penis

2006-07-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is wrong, not safe for work or anybody, but a sex ed video for the retarded.

Bush is why Zidane gave the headbutt?

2006-07-16T14:12:00.000-07:00

Only the LA Times would be stupid enough to post this gem as an editorial and think that it makes actual sense.

NOW WE KNOW why France's team captain lost his cool in the World Cup finals and France lost the trophy to Italy.

Terrorism.
(snip)
That's pure trickle-down politics. From the White House to the soccer pitch, "terrorist" has "cooties" and "your mother wears combat boots" flat beat as the top playground potty-mouth slur for the 21st century.

Who's surprised? The Bush administration has been scattering the word like ticker tape on a Manhattan parade. Old McDonald left the farm for the NSA, and now it's here a terrorist, there a terrorist, everywhere a terrorist.

Ah yes, I remember the golden age of football, when calling somebody a terrorist was a compliment. The Bush Administration's bastardization of a once noble profession will be an eternal dark mark upon his name.

No more Cream

2006-07-16T12:52:00.000-07:00

Well this just sucks....

Legendary drummer GINGER BAKER insists he will never agree to another reunion of 1960s supergroup CREAM, because he can't stand to be the same stage as frontman JACK BRUCE. The SUNSHINE OF YOUR LOVE star insists Bruce has a split personality, and has dubbed his personas DR JEKYLL and MR HYDE after the famous book by ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON. Baker was thrilled to take to the stage with Bruce and guitarist ERIC CLAPTON last year (05) in London, because it felt like a return to their heyday, but subsequent shows in New York City proved less enjoyable thanks to Bruce's behaviour. He says, "When he's Dr Jekyll, he's fine... it's when he's Mr Hyde that he's not. "I tell you this - there won't ever be anymore Cream gigs because he did Mr Hyde in New York last year. "He shouted at me on stage and turned up his bass so loud that he deafened me on the first gig. That was the end. "The Albert Hall gig was like 1966 - wonderful. And the first night in New York, Jack became Mr Hyde. He sort of took over, and he played so loud it was ridiculous."

Zim + Beastie Boys = Yummy

2006-07-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

Faulty Towers

2006-07-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

It looks like the hotel from the classic series Faulty Towers has had a bit of a makeover. And it's now a legitimate four-star hotel. Glad to see they solved the rat problem. (via Boing Boing)

Jackie Chan has nothing on this guy

2006-07-16T12:03:00.000-07:00


And here I thought that I was in good shape with my workout regime. Maybe I'll have to add him to my crew if I need some kick ass acrobatics. Kind of like Oceans 11, without all the smug.

Busted Again

2006-07-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

Some people are born great, some acheive greatness, others are simply caught huffing paint over and over again.

For the fifth time, a Benwood man has been arrested for huffing paint.Patrick Eugene Tribett, 42, has had a history of huffing paint - and being caught - since 1998.He was arrested again after Wheeling police responded to calls and found him intoxicated in a parked car.When police ordered him from the vehicle, a plastic bag and a can of spray paint fell from his lap. Police said Tribett was also armed with a kitchen knife in his pants' pocket.Tribett will be extradited to Ohio, where he is wanted on a parole violation for felonious assault.Last month, police found Tribett huffing paint under the Interstate 470 bridge. Police said when they found him, Tribett looked right at them but continued huffing.

Classic

Why I love CNN

2006-07-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

Here I am, sitting in my office, studying the dark arts of law furiously with CNN on in the background, worrying that I will fail the bar exam and never find work and then I hear these words...

..."Israel is on the brink of war"

And it all came into perspective, CNN is absolutely full of morons. But they all are employed. If they can do it, anybody can.

More proof Europe is for wusses

2006-07-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

Look, I like Eurpoe; it's full of great things, nice people. But when it comes to being able to balance between how the world really works, and how some people would like it to work, they are way off in fantasy land. Just ask the people in Britan who have succesfully banned knives.

Yeah, we still have guns, and they are outlawing shiny pointy things. Remember that next time we are told that the US is gung ho for guns, they are afraid of knives. Chalk it up to another victory of hope over experience.

Win a date with Jessica Biel

2006-07-16T01:23:00.000-07:00

oooh, I'd pay good money for a date with this woman.

Which is of course a perfect chance to smack her upside the head for Blade 3 or Stealth. Such a waste of hotness. Maybe I should take that back, and go after the fools who wasted such *talents* on such tripe.

Juggling in a cone, the only thing cooler than mimes in a shredder

2006-07-16T01:20:00.000-07:00

As long as I'm stealing from memepool...

All great privateers require entertainers.

An island in the sun

2006-07-16T01:15:00.000-07:00

Camwhores get wish lists, and so do I.

One time only, I give you permission to buy me this island. Who knows, maybe I'll invite you along for some scuba diving fun.*

*submitter actually knows the correct answer, which is no, he will not. Unless you are super hot chick, then he might invite you to lounge around sexy like on the beach. Either way, submitter will accept free islands, or pictures of your hotness.

This is the first

2006-07-16T01:08:00.000-07:00

So, I'm posting, as always, this is another secret blog of a secret blogger. Oooh mystery.

So, what's in a name?

Letters of Marque and Reprisal are used for pirates to be identified as privateers. In other words, they get to act like pirates, under the color of law, and keep what they take.

It's not stealing if the government says it's legal, after all, that is what government does, it steals, but it makes it legal first. So, allow me to nomiate myself for the first of the modern privateer movement.

As for the poster name, if you knew me, maybe you'd figure it out, but I think you'd have to be able to get me naked first. Which means you may only know me tangentially to pull it off (updated) changed the posting name, it's historical. Jolie Rouge is the historical source of the Jolly Roger, the Red Flag mean's takes no prisoners.